Cistercian Cricket

Page under Re-development following Accidental Demolition

Cistercian (or Castle) Cricket – Sample Rules

I am personally a student of architecture and fascinated by mediaeval history, but I would no more want to inflict these wet interests on my family than I would want to sing madrigals in a pub bar. So when we go exploring ruins, it is with three main possibilities in mind – firstly to look for a memorable spot for a picnic, secondly to play hide-and-seek or one-two-three-out (Llanthony Priory or Bury-St-Edmunds Abbey ruins are good for that) and thirdly to have a game of soft-ball family cricket. The latter is always possible on unmanned sites but may require some cunning and discretion on “pay-to-get-in” sites, usually run by English Heritage, Cadw or Historic Scotland. There is no problem on ramifying sites such as Fountains Abbey, where there is lots of room and privacy beyond the East End of the Church or at castles where the defenses are still high enough to hide large parts of the Bailey from the Visitor Centre. The most delightful site for picnic and cricket I have found is Llawhaden Castle in Pembrokeshire, a classic Ministry of Worksed castle, with close-clipped green lawns surrounding high fragments of walls, towers, gatehouse and some other lower buildings, all surrounded by a dry moat and too out of the way to need more than a tiny carpark, and, mercifully, unmanned and open all year. Here the batsman can loft the ball into the moat, through high, yawning windows or into a ruined staircase. The ricochets are mutiple and baroque! Down through the woods in the valley of a little river is a classic ancient Pembrokeshire church, with its potential tower of refuge. As for Hide and Seek, by the way, the best two castles I know are Warkworth in Northumberland and The Little Castle at Bolsover Castle in Derbyshire. The important characteristic is that each of the several floors of these castles are linked by more than one flight of stairs, so that the hiders can move up, down and across, and the seeker know he/she must employ second-guessing, re-searching of already-searched corners and frequent doubling-back to have any chance of catching someone. Once there are TWO seekers, it becomes possible to close in on the remaining hiders, but at Warkworth, the complexity can still be used to great effect! Ah! Those days! Anyway, here, at last are some sample Rules of Family-and-Friends Cricket – TRIBAL cricket, at its best.

1. The ball shall be bouncy
2. There shall be only one batsman at a time
3. The umpire, if any, will have no authority
4. The stumps being against a wall, there need be no wicketkeeper
5. The bowler shall be related to the batsman
6. The pitch being in a secluded part of the lawns, there need be no interruption
7. Bowling is allowed, but chucking is encouraged
8. Runs are scored as usual, but in addition:
9. Any number of runs may be run
10. The batsman may also acquire merit by striking the ball into a window embrasure, turret, tower, dungeon, moat or undercroft
11. Especial merit accrues if the ball is struck into a garderobe
12. The batsman is out if the ball cannot safely be retrieved
13. The batsman is out if the ball cannot legally be retrieved
14. The batsman can be bowled out, stumped out or caught out
15. The batsman can be adjudged out by general acclamation
16. Catches count, and attract special merit if the ball has ricocheted off any wall, staircase, buttress or other stonework not adjudged to be the ground
17. The game goes on until all are hungry, exhausted, bored or chased off by the custodian
18. The game will be memorable

Beach Cricket


The rules of Cistercian Cricket apply, except as follows:

1. The stumps being in the middle of featureless sands, there shall be a wicketkeeper
2. The wicketkeeper must be prepared to run a long way
3. The fielders must be prepared to run even further
4. There is no custodian
5. The participation of strangers cannot and should not be avoided
6. The fielding side may not dig extra holes in the wicket
7. When mothers or girlfriends bat, the field shall crowd in menacingly
8. When fathers, big brothers, or (especially) boyfriends bat, the field shall retreat respectfully
9. Children are rarely declared out
10. The sea is within the boundary of the ground
11. The players may agree that the sea can catch the ball (assuming the ball floats)
12. The incoming of the tide shall not stop play
13. The last man in (the sea) is the winner
14. Beware of flying bats

An irrelevant but strongly-felt P.S.:

Facilities: There are no facilities at this site other than the hotel. A direct quote from the Brecon Beacons national Park page on Llanthony Priory.

I can’t let this mean-minded bureaucratic entry go un-derided. And that is my more polite second draft. I know what it is like to be a PRIVATE enterprise providing an unsubsidised public cultural service free-of-entry-fee while being ignored in the publicly-funded literature. It must be said that the Wikipedia article also fails to convey the unique appeal of Llanthony. This ruin has ALL the facilities you could possibly desire! (but ware opening times out of season) In particular, a vaulted mediaeval underground bar from which you can bring up your beer or your coffees, and lemonade and crisps for the children, and sit with your back against the transept wall in the westering sun while the children chase each other among the pillars. Nearby is a campsite; you can book an evening meal or bed-and-breakfast at the hotel; the arches of the Nave frame the moor-topped hills that bound this deep and winding valley and among which are the most wonderful (if muddy) walks and cycle- or horse-rides. There are other Wonders in and near this valley, Cwmyoy Church in particular, and see our pubs page. And there are TWO loos on hand. This Pub in an Abbey is of course an anomaly; no doubt Cadw would like to close the one off from the other and dowse the joy of experiencing mediaeval hospitality – just as English Heritage have managed to kill the experience of visiting a Castle in a Farmyard that used to entrance (can that be right?) the visitor to Wingfield Manor, near us in Derbyshire. For more than ten years I have been visiting the Vale of Ewyas annually. It neither withers nor thrives excessively and each return is a joy and a relief, though this year the Min. of Ag. bureaucrats had managed to outlaw camp fires. End of mini-diatribe. DJM Nov. 09